Frustration. I guess it was inevitable that I'd start to make a real effort and that I'd get my ass handed to me. I knew enough to know I didnt know shit, but I didnt know just how little I really knew until I decided to really try...and I discovered that I know less than shit.
Been a while since I felt this helpless. "Why do I suck so much at this?!" "oh yeah, you dumb fuck..you just started painting last week". At least, I try to remind myself of that. I'm SUPPOSE to suck, but you try convincing my slow brain of that. Things were alot easier, when I wasnt doing anything but pushing paint around, but I knew that could last.
So yeah, I wanted to do a cool piece, but its just beyond me at this stage. Still have no idea what I'm doing with color, I can't blend for the love of fuck and just all around suck-assed-ness. I'll do my best to take it on the chin and learn from the many, many, many....MANY screw ups, foul ups and fails I committed on this one. You screw up enough and youre bound to learn something, right?
A few first times on this one. First time on something other than canvas. This is on smooth illustration board. Still not sure how I feel about that part. I like being able to work in greater detail (for all the good it did me) but I kinda missed the texture from the canvas. First time using more than two brushes. First time I really put some time in to a piece...
The scan is really screwy too. Not helping. I still havent figured out how to scan these things. It picks up the textures nicely, but everything else is way out of wack. Not a PS guy, so I cant just fix it digitally either. Anyway, it actually does look alot better in person. I'll at least say that about it. I love Hellboy and I hate seeming him like this. He deserves better.
Painting #4 was a rough one. Need to go lick my wounds.
Acrylic on illustration board
Hellboy © Mike Mignola